The world of dating is changing. At one time singles would wait to be set up by friends or family before going out on a date. How about the days when people would marry their high school sweethearts? Since then we have evolved into finding dates in night clubs or bars. Maybe join a social club or two in hopes of finding our soul mate or make conversation with someone in a grocery store line up.
In today’s fast paced world, dating has now taken on an entirely new form…online dating. Online dating services are booming! Why? If you’re at all curious about this new phenomenon and/ or considering signing up, you may find some answers to some of your questions here.
What is an online dating service?
You may have heard of the traditional dating services where you would walk into an office, fill out a questionnaire, maybe get your picture taken or have a video taken of you talking about yourself. Then they would put you into their data base and hopefully one day you would get a call telling you they have found a match. This service would also cost you an arm and a leg. Online dating services are somewhat similar except you can do it all from your home computer and it costs next to nothing to join.
How do online dating services work?
Usually all you need to do is fill out an online personal profile with some information about yourself, answer a questionnaire or personality profile and possibly a list of what type of person you are looking for. Some dating services will match you up based on the information you have given them or you can browse on your own. There are also chat rooms you can use, photos to look at and some offer voice boxes to leave messages on. You’ll also need to have an email account to make contact with potential dates.
Is it safe to use an online dating service to meet people?
Like with everything in life, the best thing is to use your common sense. There is always the possibility of meeting the wrong kind of people whether you’re in a bar or an online chat room. Just take your time and use your better judgment especially when you decide to meet in person. Generally, most online dating services offer a safe and secure online dating environment. Just think about it, if you don’t like what you see or read, delete it!
Why should I use online dating as a way to find a date?
Think about how much time is wasted when using methods like being set up on blind dates, or getting all dressed up to go to a bar or night club and all you find are a bunch of drunks or even going to social events and having to make small talk over and over again. With online dating you’re in control. All you do is type in what you want and then decide who you want to get to know with a click of a mouse. Before you even go out on a date you can email, use a chat room, phone each other, view each others photos and then decide if the person is worth meeting. This way it’s on your own time, day or night.
Do online dating services really work? And does anyone ever end up getting married?
If they didn’t work, would there be so many online dating sites all over the Internet? There is literally millions of dating services members out there and many of them have there own online love story to tell. You can check out the stories posted on most dating sites and many have ended up getting married. Who said there weren’t any happy endings?
I hear chat room horror stories – What kind of people will I meet if I sign up?
You’ll have the opportunity to meet all sorts of people from all different walks of life. The horror stories you may have heard usually come from uncontrolled open chat rooms where anyone can join in. With the online dating chat rooms they are for members only and have to be over the age of 18.
Are these “free” online dating services actually free? And if not, how much do they cost to join?
Most are free initially to give you the opportunity to check it out. Then once you want to actually make contact they range anywhere from $8 - $30 depending on the services you would like to take advantage of. Remember you get what you pay for..lol
What does it mean when they ask for a personal profile?
This is when you give a little bit of information about yourself. You’ll either have a list of characteristics that you can choose from or answer a personality questionnaire or do your own write up about yourself. This will give you a chance to attract someone who is looking for your qualities. Some people have very specific gender or interests that they are looking for. Lesbians ie lesbian dating, gay dating, fetish or alternative dating, etc.
Does the online dating service find a match for me or do I have to look through all the profiles myself?
There are services that do one or the other or both; it all depends on what your preference is. If you would like to save on time than a service that does the matching for you would be ideal. All you do is answering their questionnaire, they find matches for you and you check your email to see who they came up with. The programs they have for finding matches are very detailed and have a very good success rate. If you rather be in control and have time to browse than, by all means, check out the profiles yourself, no one knows what you like or don’t like better than you.
Would it be beneficial for me to join more than one online dating service?
Think of it this way; if you were looking for a job, would your chances be better if you just apply to one company and wait for a response or to apply to several places? While there are a lot of online dating services, signing up for one would probably be advisable. Once you’ve tried them all out, you’ll have your favorite (s), at that point just cancel the ones you don’t use and keep your membership with one (s) you do.
In Summary
Meeting and dating woman / men to find a relationship for friends, marriage or for a travel partner doesn’t have to be difficult and it can be a lot of fun! The only challenge that a lot of singles have is finding the time and energy to actually go out and find a date. Online dating services provide a safe and fun alternative way to find a date, find a mate or find a friend. Meeting people online is also a great tool for those who would normally be quiet and shy under normal circumstances. Just sit back and relax in the comfort of your home and see what fate has in store. Just remember to use your common sense and don’t do anything online that you wouldn’t normally do offline.
Ok What about The First Date First Date Advice
Going on a first date and wondering "What the heck are we going to talk about"? If this sounds familiar and you're looking for some first date questions, you may find the following list of questions helpful.
Whether you meet someone in a night club or through an internet dating service, going on any date can be nerve racking, especially first dates. Some questions or worries that might come up are. Where are we going to go? What are we going to do? And the number one question. What the heck are we going to talk about?
More often than not, single men and women don't really know that much about each other before agreeing to go out on their first date. All they know is the other person is somewhat attractive and interesting enough to want to go on a date in the first place. If you are concerned about what you and your date will talk about, the following questions may be useful for you.
Have you been to any concerts, plays, movies, good restaurants, etc. lately?
Nearly everyone listens to music, watches movies or likes good food, so these topics can be used as a great first date ice breaker. With all the media out there these days, it shouldn't be hard to find something to talk about in these areas.
Make mental notes to the responses you get. There could be some valuable information for future date ideas, if you're interested in going out with the same person again.
Of course this can also work the other way as well. Let's say you are a vegetarian and your date is a full blown meat eater. Finding a restaurant you can both agree on may be a challenge.
Something to consider: In finding out if you have similar interests you may discover your differences can open up a whole other world for you to learn more about things that you may not have explored before.
What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy it?
Is your date just working to pay the bills? Or does your date really enjoy or believe in what they do?
What someone does for a living says a lot about what that person is all about. Whether your date works for someone or owns their own business, either way, the answers to these questions will let you know whether this person is independent, self confident or just working for the weekend.
If you find someone who is passionate about what they do, there is a possibility they will be passionate in other areas of their life as well.
What do you like to do in your spare time? What do you do for fun? Do you like sports, the outdoors, etc.?
With this topic you have the opportunity to find out if your date is a work-aholic or if they have any hobbies or activities they enjoy doing. You will possibly get a clearer picture as to whether you see yourself spending more time with this person.
If you're the type who is very active, these are great questions to explore if you're compatible. If you enjoy hiking every weekend and your date likes to stay home and read that may not be someone you can do a lot of activities with. And on the other side, if he/she does have similar interested, you have potential to create some lasting memories and a potential bond. Maybe they like skiing or playing bingo or golf......
Tip: Most people like to talk about what they like to do, as long as they feel the other person wants to hear about it. Be genuinely interested and listen.
You'll have an opportunity to make another person feel special and maybe at the same time you'll learn something new. Ask your date plenty of questions.
You'll score a lot of points, the more questions you ask.
Do you have any brothers & sisters? Are your parents still married?
Asking about your date's family on the first date is a great way to find out more about your date. How your date responds and feels about their family will give you a head start in deciding whether you're interested in a second date or not.
Questions about family will give you some great insight into your date's background. I'm not saying to prejudge your date based on their family, just listen carefully and get a feel for what you future may look like if things get serious.
What kinds of things do you like to do with your friends? Where did you meet your friends?
Asking about friendships is another good way to find out what your date is like in their relationships with other people. Do they have close friends or none at all? You can tell a lot about a person by the people they associate with.
How close is your date with their friends? Will you have to pass the friendship test, if you want to become more involved? Meaning, in order to get closer or more serious with your date, do the "friends" have to give you a thumbs up first?
At the very least your date may have some interesting or funny stories to share with you. Then you can decide for yourself if it's a group of people you can see yourself hanging out with.
Do you like to travel? Have you been on any vacations lately? What other places would you like to travel to?
People love to get away, so whenever this topic comes up in conversation, it usually takes people right back to their experience, and hopefully it was enjoyable one. If you find out where your date would like to travel to some day, you may want to keep that in mind for possible future plans. You never know where your date may lead you.
Just a warning on this topic: try to avoid discussing travel horror stories; nothing brings down the mood on a date than a travel horror story. I know we all have them, and if it's not something you can laugh about and keep the mood light, it's best not to get into it. The goal on the first date is to get to know each other and have fun.
Where did you go to school, college, university, etc.? What did you study? Did you enjoy it?
Is your date a professional student or is your date using their education? Some people stay in school forever and don’t go anywhere. Is your date one of them? Plus, not everyone goes to school to learn. Was your date hitting the books or just hanging out with friends and going to frat parties? These answers will give you a good indication whether your date is focused or just wants to party. If you also fall into either of these categories, you will at least have something to talk about.
What kinds of dates have you been on? What would your dream date be like?
Most single men & women have a story or two to share about past dates. If you have nothing else in common, you may be able to spark up something here. You can share stories plus this is a way to find out what your dates dating history is like.
If you listen carefully and make mental notes, you may also be able to top their past dates or be the one to give them their dream date (that's assuming your date is going well and you wish to have more than just one date with this person).
Where do you see yourself in five years from now? What have you always dreamed of doing? These are great questions to ask on a first date. The goal is to find out whether this person is worth a second date depending on the answers they give.
Does your date even have any plans for the future?
If your goal is to be married and have at least one child in five years and your date wants to be single and climbing Mount Everest, you may want to question whether you'll have a future together.
This topic may not seem like typical first date questions, maybe more like a second, third or even forth date questions. Why wait? Who has time to waste today? The more you find out at the start, the less time you're wasting later on.
What type of qualities are you looking for in a relationship? What's most important to you in Mr. / Miss Right?
This topic may also seem like questions to ask further down the road, however, I have found it to be very informative. You'll be surprised how much a person will open up to someone they hardly know when the right questions are asked.
Have you found yourself a potential love relationship? If your date rattles off a bunch of qualities that you know you are not compatible with, then you should probably call it night. On the other hand, if it sounds like he/she is describing yourself, you may have potentially found your match.
On the first date you have no idea if the person sitting across from you is your soul mate, so why not ask. You have nothing to lose and a whole lot of valuable information to gain.
In Summary
When asking first date questions, your goal is three things. First, find out more about your date and find out if you're compatible. Secondly, make a good first impression. Asking a lot questions really works. Rarely these days do you find some one who takes the time to ask questions and take an interest in other people. And finally, see if your date is worthy of a second or third date. How will you know if you don't ask any questions? The first date process is very similar to a job interview. When you go on an interview you're asked a lot of questions. Depending on the answers you give, you may or may not get a second or third interview. So think of your first date as a fun version of a job interview, the only difference is you're asking the questions and it's to find a companion. So remember, relax, have fun and the more questions you ask the better.